You know how you can tell the pilot in the room? They will tell you. Not so subtly waves from the corner. I’m 52 and a professional airline pilot. So, naturally, I have been ‘playing’ flight simulators my whole life. It started with Microsoft Flight Simulator (v2.0) with its glorious CGA graphics (I think I
Sometimes crews buddy-bid together so they can fly the same trip. For them, it’s like a road trip with a friend. For the rest of us, it’s like tagging along on their vacation. And sometimes they let you in on their little inside jokes. “She’s the one who was locked out of her hotel room
Quiet night over the Third Planet. Specifically, somewhere over West Texas. So many red dots down there, flashing in unison. Thousands of them blanket West Texas, flashing like a bunch of Operation board games, kids failing to pull out the funny bone at the exact same time. Oil rigs, in case you were wondering. There
From above, towns and cities and villages and parishes all look different. All tiny, but they share the same structures. The churches with their steeples glistening in the sun, and the schools with ballfields, tiny dots of players running like swarms of European starlings moving as one. Jails have geometric buildings that hold plenty of
The article (A Cookie Calling Card for Travelers) came out three days after my son was born, but the events in the story happened months earlier. It was one of those stories that gets written and then sits around waiting for a slow news day. Michael Stipe of R.E.M. once said he hoped to die
At 16 years old, moments are harder to come by these days that remind me he was once my little boy. “Did I do okay, Dad?” This was the first thing I heard him say upon coming to from sedation following a six-hour surgery. He was still on oxygen and talking through a mask. He
Let me get this out of the way. The other day I logged one of my greatest flying accomplishments in thirty-three years of flying. Twenty-five years as an airline pilot. Twenty thousand hours. And while I hope I never have to interview for another flying job, if I do, this is the story I’m leading
The locals were fantastic and welcomed me with open arms. According to our body clocks, we landed in Columbus somewhere between hungry and sleepy. As is my custom before eating or sleeping, I got out to stretch my legs and get the blood flowing. A wise move after being strapped into a seat all day.
“Please forgive me. I am assuming you have a loved one’s remains in your carry-on?” “Yes, sir. I am taking my late wife with me to finish the trip we started after her diagnosis.” This is how our conversation started. Well, it started when he asked our A flight attendant to speak with the Captain.
I learned of a friend’s passing this week.It came this way:“FWD: Linwood died last Tuesday.” It took my breath away. It came from one of my best friends. He and I share a few Holly Golightlys. People who come and go but leave a huge influence and imprint. The right people for the right time.
Although news, podcasts, blogs, and conversations with friends, family, and coworkers have led me to believe the country is at a breaking point through our divisions, distrust, and uncertainty, I see the tiniest hints of hope when I watch the world through the eyes of my fourteen-year-old and listen to the words he uses to
Recently I was asked to find a journal I kept when we met twenty-three years ago. In it, I found a passage in which I wrote about a dream I had awoken from. Twenty-three years ago! We had been dating for less than a month. The Key to a Happy Marriage In my dream, I
I wrote the following years ago as a character study on a Captain I was flying with. I was hesitant to post it then as I genuinely enjoyed working with him and wouldn’t want him to think I was poking fun at him. Had he read it, I’d hate for a future trip with him
Hey Dad, So much has happened since we last spoke in January 2017. Your grandson has doubled in age since then; he’s now 14. With each milestone of his, I think back to when I was that age and what we might have been doing together. The same goes for the little setbacks. How did
In a surprise move, Doctor Henderson of Manhattan’s faith-based “Restore Heterosexuality – Gay Conversion Center” has decided to turn 180 degrees and is now offering a heterosexuality conversion course. “The science is in,” says Henderson. “Studies have proven you just can’t convert gay people to a straight lifestyle. During my years of attempting to do
Airline crews are easy to identify at the hotel bar. Especially if it’s closing time when the lights are bright, and the staff is attempting to clean for the morning. We’re a group of middle-aged folks from various genders and races eating and drinking and carrying on like it was a reasonable hour. “Too late
I had the great fortune of interacting many times with Jack Hanna over the years during my childhood through my father’s work with Busch Gardens in Tampa and later, SeaWorld in Orlando. He was always truly kind to me and curious about what I was up to and the things I had done since we
There was a time when being a Regional Pilot meant you never left the very small region your employer flew in. Often this was no larger than a thumbprint on a map. In the early days of my airline career, when my hair was significantly less grey and my ears could hear things without a
On this one-hundred-and-something-ish day of being a virtual school teacher’s assistant, IT support, lunch lady, PE Coach, and Dad I’m finding myself talking more and more to myself. The virtual teacher’s lounge has become the safe space in the house (er… school) between classroom meltdowns to pour another cup of Mother’s Little Helper from the
Yes, his hair has gotten too long with the barbers closed so he suddenly looks like a broody teenager but with the all the news and his adult questions about COVID and after a few months stuck in the house together, he’s found independence and an increasing need to “go to my room and have
There are a few ways people can make money flying airplanes around. The two big easy examples are flying people or flying boxes to people. I’ve never considered the latter as, for the most part, I enjoy the humans. I like being around them. I like looking at them. I like making fun of them.
By: The Young Stork This morning I went downstairs and found a pair of magic shoes. They were yellow with blue stripes and when I put them on they made my feet run in place. I floated above the ground and my feet ran at full speed in a big circle. The crazy thing was
In the hotel van after work, I told my Captain that my son’s teacher gave me a compliment when I showed up to volunteer in class on time by acknowledging that I am “always just so very punctual.” My Captain said, “Wow! Five stars for you!” He then added, “Okay, so we have a 5:10
It’s increasingly less often these days but every now and then something happens that reminds me that he’s still my little baby. Like the other day when the very young lady at the barbershop heard me asking for just a little trim of his shoulder length hair but mistook that for chop it all off.
As a frequent guest of hotel showers across the United States, you can imagine the horror and disgust I felt while attempting to bathe in room 383 today. After looking up (and being unable to look away) from the utter disrespect for cultural norms and the sheer lack of consistency displayed with the shower
I’ve gone from “Dad” to “Dude.” Although sometimes he keeps it in the family and calls me “Bro.” As in, “Dude! Bro! You don’t know how to dance the Floss?! You really don’t know anything do you?” He’s too young to talk smack, isn’t he? And when did it become okay for him to make
I was humbled to be able to take part in the unveiling of an incredible statue honoring my father at the Florida Aquarium this week in Tampa. The Aquarium commissioned artist Yeins Gomez for the project and the result took my breath away… a beautiful metal bow-tie wearing Stork standing above his three little Storks
My father was dying this time last year. I knew it. He knew it. We all did. The difference though was that he handled the news so much better than we did. Unlike us, he never complained or expressed the unfairness of the situation. He never said “too soon.” We did. Everyone who came to
Pro: You only have one mouth to feed. Con: That same mouth often only has one person to talk to. I am his entertainment. I am his captive audience. I am his sounding board for his really great ideas about really great things that really can’t wait until later. I find that as I attempt
After our son was born I called friends who already had kids and apologized to them for not being more excited for them when they became parents. I didn’t know until I saw our own son how awesome it was. How could I? I did the same after my father passed. I called friends who
I have the luxury of working weekends and being able to pick up our son from school most weekdays. I watch with joy as he bounces down the steps from his school happy to tell me all about the things he did during the day. Rarely does he come out upset. Never has he
My father passed away on January 2nd of this year. I’ve had several posts in mind but haven’t had the energy to put them down. This is the eulogy I read at his service. Maybe this will help me sleep a little better until I can get something better down. My parents visited the Vatican
By BESS ADAMS COLEMAN “With my 5-year-old son, I’m experiencing the greatest love affair I’ve ever had,” said 31-year-old Thom Stork. “There are lots of rocky roads, no question about it, but you can say that I’ve really found my child. I’ll freely admit that for four years he was there and I loved him
I’ve been an airline Captain since 2001. With a recent airline change I’m a First Officer again. The copilot. Just like Kareem Abdul-Jabar… and the guy who sat next to Sully. I’m one step up from Otto the autopilot in Airplane. I should have made business cards that said “Cool Jet Captain” while I could. (Mental note
Mr. Mom (1983) Directed by Stan Dragoti Shown: Michael Keaton It’s been nearly seven years that I became a dad.Seven years and I’ve done the best I could to avoid being the bumbling dad stereotype on tv shows. You know the one. He pours orange juice in his coffee and puts sticks of butter in
Are we still doing the soap in the mouth thing? I may need to go out and buy a bar of soap. Better yet. Amazon Prime. Soap please. We use liquid soap here. Body wash really. How does that work? Do I loofa his tongue? The six year old said his first bad word the
I recently read Auto Biography by Earl Swift in which he retraces all the owners of a ’57 Chevy and it’s had me thinking about my first car. It was a 1969 Plymouth Barracuda. I unwrapped it in the Fall of 1990. Twenty one years after it rolled off the assembly line. It was a cool
We recently upped the ante on our nightly single sight word flashcard routine. After recognizing the word on the card before him the boy has to use that word in a sentence. At five and three quarters old (his description) the words these days are short and typically monosyllabic. We’re giving him things like BROWN
How amazing it must be to have no concept of time? How liberating. Plotting our sons growth alongside the chart of mankind’s evolution, he is close to understanding that as the sun settles near the horizon it’s time to get back to the cave. Walking upright? Check. Simple cave drawings? Check. Charting the
It’s the season for gift giving. That means it’s also the season for scrambling to pay off your guilt by dishing out gifts to those who serve you and make your life easier… The trash collector, your postal worker, the Starbucks barista and of course, your flight crew.While there are many great and appropriate gifts
This is his fifth Christmas and this year he’s a believer. We took him to see Santa last week. We went to the good one. The Friday night Mall Santa. Not the Tuesday morning B-Shift guy. Our guy was the real deal. At least the boy thought so. We got to the mall early at
“Father?” Said the almost five year old. “Listen, there is something I’ve been thinking about. You and I have been watching a lot of classic television programing lately. Shows like Tom and Jerry and Dumbo and I’ve noticed that in them, often a Stork drops off a baby to Moms and Dads.” “Yes?” I answer
The meetings are held in the basement of a church near an all-night donut shop. Although both are helpful, the location is more about the donuts than the man upstairs. The chairs are arranged in a circle. The donuts are placed on an end table in the middle. They are a focal point. The embers
For the first time in his life he has come up with something funny. Months later he still calls back to it. And it is funny.He’s had funny moments before. He’s pulled some physical gags and laughed at himself and then asked if it was silly. But this is his first joke. Sometime late summer
Every memorable event in my life that happened before the spring of 2010 is filed away in my brain with a five-year buffer. My mental calendar from the era before I had a child is ordered in half-decade increments.When did I graduate college? “I was done wearing flannel shirts by that time… mid to late
I was on vacation during the month of July. I ceased all work related activities. I also didn’t… It was a blissful month away from the airport. I return to the cockpit tomorrow. I just hope they didn’t move any of the buttons around.
In many ways… Hollywood’s depiction of airline life is completely wrong. In some ways it’s spot on and I claim those scenes as just another day at the office. My ownership to what scene I sell as truth depends on the audience I’m with. If I’m sitting with guys and it’s a pilot surrounded by
My work life and home life collided yesterday when my son complained that his toy Hess helicopter wasn’t working as it was supposed to. “My helicopter won’t fly anymore!” It never flew. The blades spun. It lit up. It made lots noise. But it never flew. In his world, it did though. And now it
Do not read this if you are in a hotel bed. If you are in a hotel bed please tell me you removed the bedspread. Please tell me you didn’t eat something with your bare hands after touching the remote control, alarm clock or light switch. You aren’t walking around barefoot, are you? You’re using
I used to give lip service on Father’s Day. Cards were sent and thanks were given and the love was spread around as abundantly and efficiently as I could spread it. But I’m not sure I really meant it. And then I became a Dad and realized that my life was no longer about me
Sometimes people ask me what it’s like to be a pilot. “Wow, that must be so cool! I bet you’re really smart. You must have been good at math in school. Are all pilots as handsome as you?”I’ve never gotten that last one. I made that up. When asked about how thrilling it must be
Many days during my college decade were spent studying the Beat Poets and experimenting with stream-of-consciousness prose. We turned words cut from the newspapers into dialog and had nonsense talks over wine. We verbally riffed and let our talks ebb and flow on a course of their own often ending where they began… with a
He’s only four and he already thinks he’s smarter than I am. He’s learned how to give the look that says, “Seriously? I wasn’t born yesterday you know?” I give him the look back that says, “In the grand scheme of things… close enough.” He’s given me that looks twice in his life and they
How different his world is in 2014 than mine was when I was his age in 1978. This is the blessing of the late blooming father. Had I begun the child rearing phase of my life a decade or more ago things would be different. We could enjoy the Hunger Games together, we could both
Filed away years ago as, “Well, that sure was stupid.” Once, I met Southwest founder and former CEO, Herb Kelleher in the airport. We talked at length and I got the impression he liked me. He suggested as much. And then he asked for my card. To which I replied, “I don’t have a card.
Since the beginning, there have always been two pilots up on the flight deck. Had it not been for the Wright Brothers, maybe we’d only have one seat up there. It’s a common misconception that the First Officer (commonly referred to as the copilot in the movies or ‘gear monkey’ in real life) isn’t really
We obviously spend lots of time around the humans. We are in the service industry after all. Day in and day out we spend our time carrying you, your loved ones, your bags and your ‘service animals’ from here to there with ease. We do this with a smile on our face. Not because we
I spend about ten nights a month in hotels. I’ve been doing this job for fourteen years. I’ve slept (or attempted to sleep) in a hotel bed roughly 1700 times since then. I’ve learned a few things about survival along the way. I’ve not caught any nasty infections, have maintained a relatively healthy immune system,
I fear my son will think I don’t read… or listen to music… or vacuum since that task has been assigned to the robot. It’s been years since I bought a physical book and I can count the number of physical CD’s I’ve purchased in the last decade. I have neither of these things lying
I just turned 39 and I may have begun nesting. I suppose this typically happens before the child is born but maybe since having him I’ve become aware of what world I want him to be raised in. That world is one that is away from the humans. It has goats and green things and
When I was a young airline pilot and new to ‘the road’ I ranked hotels by their proximity to good food and entertainment. Now, I judge hotels on two things: internet speed and shower pressure. Oh, and free breakfast. I’m not even a breakfast guy. But when it’s free – I’m a kid in a
Since his birth in 2010, I’ve wondered when we would start seeing our traits in him. Without the blood bond biological children share with their parents I’ve been anxious to see us in him in ways that must be distinctly learned. Along those lines, I’ve also been anxious to uncover the surprises we will find
This article was floating around Facebook today explaining why it is imperative you land a pilot. 6 reasons to be exact. Since I am a pilot, I figured I’d explain my reasoning why scoring a Jet Captain should be on your to-do list. While you may find a man irresistible who gets paid to strap
There will certainly be a time in our son’s life where he will think he is cooler than us and rebel against the way we chose to raise him. He will be on his way to becoming a Jedi of his own. In an attempt to limit the damage to his ego and curb his
For a few years now (well, specifically since January 2010), I’ve been quoting a particular scene from a particular horror movie during a particular time in the post-bath pre-story time portion of my son’s evening. I realized today this could come back to haunt him in two possible ways. One… asylum. Two… a perfect flashback
Years back, when my wife said she wanted chickens, I agreed as long as I could build the coop. Actually, I said no for years and finally caved when I started lurking in the dark corners of the internet and learned about automated chicken coops. I’ve always spent time in the dark corners of the
It’s been twenty years since I was a college student, and I returned this past weekend as an alumnus to preach the airline life. These kids on campus now are just that—kids! Many were born after I started college. Not only could I be their father, but I could also be the father to their
It was a bright and sunny day on the island of Sodor, and all the trains were running on time except for one. Thomas the Tank Engine sat with his big engine idling and burning fuel at Sodor Station, waiting for a return call from crew scheduling. “What is it this time?” asked the gate
I’m not gonna go into all the obvious hazards of flying likes skin cancer, alcoholism, divorce and controlled flight into terrain. Those have been covered before. It’s the day to day stuff that is killing me. It’s not the job… it’s the lifestyle. Although I may only fly a few hours a day, if I
As the new year approaches it’s time to evaluate accomplishments from the past year and set goals for the next. While I succeed each year with many of my Xbox-related achievements, I think 2013 will be more about work and what I bring to the cockpit. Across the aviation industry, morale is low and tempers
In Florida, before man made global climate change, we had hurricane drills in grade school. We’d learn where the best place to hide was and how to skin, cook and eat alligator. This was before the internet… and apparently before satellite radar. Didn’t they have advanced warning in the 80’s? Did we learn nothing from
For years now (more than a decade of them) a friend and I have been playing the “who’s the first to become an adult game”. It started in college and was simply a game that would define the moment when you became a man. You entered adulthood when you bought frames for your posters or
“The rules are pretty simple: tell me when you have to go potty, and we will go potty. Got it?” I say this at 8 a.m., feeling confident I’m gonna crank out potty training today. Boot camp style. Let’s do this. I ask him again if he understands the rules.“Yeah,” he says.He says “yeah” to
Some days, I actually do work. But it’s not the work you would assume. It’s not fighting nasty storms or battling wind shear down the final approach to an icy runway. It’s interacting with the passengers and assuring them that at some point, we will arrive at our destination. I like that part of the
In order to get into the Mumbai airport, you need a boarding pass. You must present this to the bearded man with the gun and the second gun in the holster around his waist. Several signs around this large man warn passengers not to approach him more than 2 hours before their departure time. “Passengers
With the luxury of non-revenue travel also comes the joy of spontaneous adventure. Our trip to India would begin with either a flight from Newark into Delhi or Mumbai. We had tentatively prepared an itinerary around Delhi being our entry point, but when that flight was full and we were able to score the last
In high school, I could eat! I was a growing boy, always hungry and never gaining weight. I felt invincible, or so I thought. There was (and maybe still is) a restaurant in Tampa that offered a six-pound challenge: ninety-six ounces of beef for the willing. Eat it all, and the table eats for free.
The boy has the aviation bug. He has already begun chasing planes around. I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember. Specifically, it may have started when I was in single digits, sitting in my father’s office, watching people fly RC airplanes in a field across the street. The obsession culminated during
I’ve been home for too long and apparently have had too few conversations with adults. I’ve been off for a few weeks and have spent the majority of that time with a child who only utters a few simple things… more like breaths with some noises attached. He’s experimenting with passing air over his vocal
Yep, go to commercial. For a moment I was a TV dad. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the cool dad or the quirky gay dad or the tough guy. I was the awkward dad hanging on to his youth when I had to confront the college boys next door. Our neighborhood is surrounded by colleges and therefore
My Nana passed away on February 13th, surrounded by her family, after being diagnosed with cancer just a few weeks before. She passed very peacefully and kept her wit until the very end. Hours before, when people were coming in and out of her room, I said to her, “I think you, Susan, and I
Several times between now and the era of the stage 2 Huggie overnight diapers, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of sleep deprivation, awakening in the land of disproportionate proportions with oversized talking caterpillars, four-key colorful pianos, and airplanes whose propellers spin with a psychedelic glow not too far off from the St. Elmo’s fire
I put in twelve years of Catholic school… I was released on my own recognizance but served parole under the watchful eyes of a Baptist college. You could say I was “institutionalized” and feared life on the outside. Twelve years of a regulated wardrobe can have a lasting effect if they occur between five and
The boy is almost nine months old, and since I’ve been back to work after paternity leave, I’ve been flying weekends. Although airport Chick-fil-A is closed on Sunday, it is nice to work weekends and steal the Sunday NY Times from sleepers in the airport. I play a game of whack-a-mole where I rotate newspapers.
A friend once told me that every day he wakes up in a hotel, it feels like waking up with a hangover. “I’m not sure where I am or how I got here, but at least I have my pants on.” Add in the fact that we stay in a variety of hotels with countless
I returned to work yesterday from a three-week vacation with the family. While at work and living on the road, I have lots of downtime that I fill with ‘entertainment’ that I would never make time for at home: bad movies on cable, aimless walks around Wal-Mart, and celebrity gossip magazines. US, Star, People, and
When the baby falls asleep in my arms, I recreate this old scene in reverse as I do my best to place him in the crib and extract my arms without him waking up. I learned from Indiana Jones… one swift movement. His eyes are closed, and his body is limp in my arms. I
In the cockpit, when an alarm sounds, the first response is to “Identify and Cancel” the warning. This means acknowledging the source of the alarm, silencing the warning, and then determining a course of action. If there are several warnings, you prioritize them—often based on the color of the alarm. Yes, our planes are color-coded.
My job as a pilot is made much easier by checklists and routines. I do the same thing – the same way – every time. Checklists are written in a way that is intended to flow logically as we set up the cockpit for each phase of flight. It’s the times when something upsets that
I despise the phrase “Knock on wood.” It was only ever tolerable when sung by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. If you’re among those in the cockpit who’ve said, “I’ve never had an engine fire or a hydraulic leak. Wait, let me knock on…” and then scoured the cockpit for wood, you may remember the courtesy
For years, I’ve used Pink Floyd’s 1968 studio album “A Saucerful of Secrets” as my secret weapon for an instant nap when I wasn’t sure if my brain was up for a break or there was too much going on around me to ensure a solid sleep.
I started using Google Voice months back on my G1 Android phone to transcribe my voicemails. When you leave me a message, I get an email containing the text version of that message. While I can still listen to the voicemail, most of the time the email is enough to give me the gist of
After college, or maybe it was during, I had a job for about a year as an overnight DJ at an adult contemporary AM radio station in Southern Virginia. Actually, it wasn’t just an AM station. It was, and still is, AM stereo, which, at the time, had been struggling to gain a foothold ever
I was driving home today and saw a dog running around the neighborhood a few blocks from my house. Being the good neighbor and dog owner that I am, I figured it best to try and find the little fella’s owner before his nose got too cold, he got lost, or had a run-in with
On days when the air is still and fog forms over a river, it looks like the Great Wall of China is snaking its way across the Earth. Since many state lines overlay rivers, each state is safely protected from their neighbor—unless you’re driving a VW, which can safely pass through. When I was driving
Well, The Flaming Lips show in Philadelphia turned into “A bit of a bath – a big bath” (to quote the Woodstock documentary – although theirs was in reference to the bath the promoters would take upon getting the bill for the festival.)Although we had a nice evening and some great Indian cuisine downtown with
I showed up in DC at an hour usually reserved for raccoons and regret—5:30 a.m.—for a flight to Kansas City, which was only the beginning of this majestic loop-de-loop across the middle bits of America. From Kansas City, I hopped a flight to Milwaukee where a 3.5-hour layover waited for me like a bored TSA
This was our third leg for the day. We began in Omaha around 2 PM, flew from Omaha to Milwaukee, and then off to Boston. On the return from Boston to Milwaukee, we ended up holding over Grand Rapids for 30 minutes before we made the decision to divert to Indianapolis for more fuel. Holding
I once quit a job without giving two weeks’ notice. I quit after my lunch break. The boss wasn’t surprised at all. I think she even wondered why it took so long like it was a bet amongst the bosses. Each day that went by with me still on the line was another nickel in
Press Play I found this CD in the gutter up the street the other day while out walking the dog. Apparently, Emily has moved on. The disk may have fallen out of her car but I think she frisbee’d it out the window and it bounced off a tree. From what I can gather… she’s
I called to check on room availabilities at a few hotels in Towson for my parents’ visit next month. Google, of course, gave me a few pushpins just a few miles up the road, so I started calling. What’s amazing is that with each call to the front desks, I was redirected to a call
On Woensdag (Wednesday), we left Amsterdam for Reno. Well, we attempted to leave Amsterdam for Reno. The daily Usairways flight from AMS to PHL was full and rather than roll the dice on one flight we figured a safer bet would be to roll the dice on two relatively full flights out of Frankfurt. And
In grade school, we wore navy blue pants and white dress shirts. The boys had triangular collars, while the girls wore the rounded ones that little Catholic school girls wear. There was an unfortunate era when my sister and I wore the same size shirt even though we were two years apart. And, of course,
Who knows… it’s noon and I hear someone yelling from outside our boat. It’s in Dutch of German or something I can’t place because I’m asleep. I say, “what… huh? ok.” And then she says in clear English, “Over here!” while waving from the window. This is the last clear English she will speak. “oh…
The whole houseboat is IKEA! We’re in a neighborhood a bit outside of Central Amsterdam. Although it’s only a 30-minute walk or an easy tram or bus ride into the center of it all, we are far enough away to feel more local. Buying a cup of coffee yesterday down the road, a man asked,
With her off for the summer, I ‘bid’ to have some weeks off with her. I was awarded six weeks from the end of June through early August. Eager to kick the summer off, I asked for—and was granted—a drop of a trip at the end of June that leads up to my vacation. Now,
We went to the opening night of The Simpsons Movie. THE opening night. The midnight showing at select theaters. First of all—movie = awesome. But it was the crowd that made it exceptionally fun. Laugh Out Loud Funny. One of the treats of the episodes is that there is no laugh track, so they can
I often watch in amazement as gate agents in airports can so blatantly blow off our passengers in their time of need. I know there are plenty of times when there is nothing they can do to rectify the situation, but I’m sure a little compassion would make the hard news easier to swallow. Often,
A four-day trip the week of Thanksgiving took me to Columbus, Ohio. Since I was to spend the holiday alone in the hotel, S. decided to drive up from visiting her grandparents in Pittsburgh. She had our cousin Troy with her, so we figured we’d play in Ohio for the night and let him see
I got to Walmart at 4:30 am armed with a large coffee and my hacked PSP, ready to play an hour and a half of ExciteBike on a Nintendo emulator until the store opened. The Wii was to go on sale at 6 am, and I was number 11 in line. Rumor had it there
As friends make the jump from windows to mac – I often get asked what mac apps to use? Where are some good places to get software? What’s in your dock? Here is what is currently in my dock… some programs I use often – others I recently downloaded and need them visable so I
As I made my way down the aisle yesterday for my flight back from Tampa, I saw two kids sitting in the row I was to take. They had the aisle and middle seats, and I was to sit by the window where a bald baby doll was strapped in. The mom was in the
We were woken up by several very abrupt knocks on the front door at 2 am this morning. Luckily, I’m feeling under the weather and had called off a two-day trip. I say ‘lucky’ because if I had not called out, my alarm clock would have been going off in about an hour, and I’d
I would have missed more school as a kid if Tony Danza had a talk show rather than a blue van full of Milano’s. I’ve learned so much from daytime TV today. The day began with the Orange County Chopper guys taking me on a tour of Ireland, Scotland, and France! Even though I was
Jesuit high school. All-boys. Shirt and tie. A Beanie for freshmen, Catholic guilt baked into the curriculum. Everyone else had cars or rides or parents with flexible schedules. I had the city bus. The H.A.R.T. Line. Hillsborough Area Regional Transit. Big red heart logo, which, after a few sunburned summers, faded to a kind of
I grew up in the theme park Busch Gardens and its water park sister, Adventure Island. They were my babysitters. They were my Grandma’s house. They were home. They were where I went when school was out for the summer, where I went when I was too sick for school or where I went when
After a few years of buying on eBay, I finally decided to sell something.Stuff has been accumulating in our little rowhome, and it’s time for a spring clean. Since I already had a PayPal account, the setup was simple. After taking a few pictures, I was on my way. I listed four items, and after
Forget Our Lady of Lourdes. Forget the Wailing Wall. It’s time we canonize the shower. No, really. Light a candle. Sling a rosary over the curtain rod. This thing has been weeping its own kind of holy water for over a year now. A true miracle of modern plumbing. If she were to appear to
I took a walk to the back of the plane in flight today to pee. This is something I try not to do too often, and it’s called the “Walk of Shame” for good reason. First of all, it requires getting up. After sitting for so long strapped to an airplane seat, that’s pretty tough
With not much on my plate yesterday I made the short trek out to Crabtown to see what it was all about. I figured if it was listed on the internet on a website devoted to classic arcade game rooms and was ranked high on the most games list… I should check it out. Especially
