When the baby falls asleep in my arms, I recreate this old scene in reverse as I do my best to place him in the crib and extract my arms without him waking up. I learned from Indiana Jones… one swift movement. His eyes are closed, and his body is limp in my arms. I get him as close to the mattress as I can. I yank my arms out from both sides so that he slides in without changing position. Often, it ends up like Dr. Peter Venkman’s attempt in Ghostbusters to pull the tablecloth out from under the dishes, and we start over back in the rocking chair. I rock him until I think he’s asleep and test this by lifting his little arm a few times, hoping to watch it helplessly fall to his side like after Hulk Hogan body slammed Andre the Giant in Wrestlemania III. Or I think that’s how that one ended. Yes, I’m Hulk Hogan in this one. Actually, I’m the ref testing for a knock-out.
I never knew Indiana Jones would train me for fatherhood. I play the part well when I’m reenacting the drama in the nursery. I’m going to watch Star Wars soon and see if Yoda can give me some advice on how to make the transition from bottled formula to solid food. “Do or do not – there is no try.”